“Sexual Health School” that seriously considers adult women’s sexual health.
This time, I asked OliviA, a love life advisor who is a general sexual advisor and active in various fields such as media and training, about the characteristics of many sex worries.
I want to enhance my sexual life, but what should I do? Olivi A, a love life adviser, answers these concerns. OliviA says that his worries are really various.
“Many people want to improve their sexual life, but it’s difficult to talk to their friends, let alone their family. There are many.”
It is said that sexless worries are common among them. “In the past, there were a lot of cases where the content was often taken up in magazines for middle-aged and older people, and content about sexual desire and energetic was often heard, but recently, consultations from young people are increasing. For example, let’s get married now. There was a case in which the couple said they were really worried about not having sex.”
OliviA says that not only sexlessness but also sexual worries have various backgrounds as well as physical reasons. It seems important to know the root cause and take countermeasures.
“Many women and women often have different sexual worries,” says OliviA. What is the difference?
“In the case of women, there are often points of concern about the relationship with the other person. For example, a case where a woman consults that she has never felt orgasm. Because she has never felt orgasm. Of course, I tend to think of giving advice on the technique of “how can I feel orgasm.” However, when I often ask, this person says, “Why she was good, why you are not good I was worried because I was told that I was not saying that I did not want to break the relationship with the other party.”
Thus, in the case of women, there are many consultations that emphasize not only the worries about pure sexual desire but also the relationship with the partner, “I do not want to be disliked by the other party” or “I want to improve the relationship with the other party”. so.
On the other hand, many of the worries from men are related to performance.
“For example, I have a lot of worries that I don’t want to be stimulated by vagina during sexual intercourse, or what I should do immediately, but I’m worried about my male function decline and I want to satisfy women. I often feel embarrassed that I can not have such sex, and I am worried about my lack of strength due to unsatisfactory performance.”
OliviA, a love life advisor who receives many consultations about her sexual life. It is said that there are particularly many consultations regarding sexless. Then what is the cause?
“As I mentioned last time, the worries about sexless are getting younger, which means not only physical factors, but psychological factors as well.” He points out that one of the factors is the old sense of values regarding sex.
“I feel that the fact that sex is what men are lustful for women and men lead it. It seems that it is a factor that keeps sex from moving away. For example, hear about sex from women. The expression “captivate him” often appears, which means that the imprint of the fact that the feminine identity is fulfilled only when he is recognized as sexual is still strong. With that kind of thinking, it becomes difficult for women to invite themselves when they become sexless, for example.”
It makes me feel embarrassed to invite sex from me, and I wonder if I wouldn’t be attracted to it unless I was invited. I’m sure there are some people who have some kind of idea.
OliviA says that it is important to focus on mind, body, and skill to break sexlessness.
“First of all, in terms of mind, it is important for women themselves to recognize that sex is an important element in their life, rather than being taboo. It is embarrassing to say or think about sex. Don’t think about it. Then you can tell your partner what you want to do and what you do not want to do. That alone will change a lot.”
For example, if you have sexual intercourse pain with your partner, forcing yourself to endure can lead to uncomfortable sex. At such times, if you tell them that you want to use jelly lotion and suggest your favorite items, your psychological burden will be lightened.
“However, there are many people who don’t know how to tell their partner. In such a case, feel free to consult.”
OliviA says that it is important to train yourself to feel good about your body. “When I talk to a woman who doesn’t understand orgasm, there are quite a few who have never done self-pleasure (masturbation). Many people think that orgasm is something their partner gives to them. It’s quite difficult if you haven’t felt orgasm in. It’s the fastest way to get orgasm by practicing your body.
According to the story, it seems that there are many cases where you do not face sex or your body, you have the illusion that the other person feels comfortable, or you think that you are not suitable for sex. I feel.
“That’s right. Why not start by facing your body and sexuality?”
Specifically, how do you deal with your body and pleasure?
“I would like to recommend “first-time enjoyment” as the first step for pleasant sex.”
Masturbation is an image of the act of getting pleasure instead of having sex alone, but the image of self-pleasure seems to be more relaxed.
“First of all, I recommend that you wash your vulva thoroughly in the bathroom. If you feel uncomfortable with touching your vulva, start by tracing over the shorts.
Next, take a look at yourself in the bathroom with a mirror. Most of us haven’t seen our vulva carefully? By observing and touching without looking away, we will eliminate the feeling of psychological resistance.”
It seems that eliminating the resistance to your sexuality is a training that accepts physical satisfaction. In this way, the point of self-pleasing is to create pleasant and pleasant times rather than just sexual desire processing by gradually stimulating the pleasant points.
It’s easy to think that orgasm is just a feeling, but OliviA points out that there are several types of orgasm consultation.
There are things called “outside iki” and “middle iki”. “Outside iki” means to feel orgasm in the vulva such as the clitoris. “Middle iki” means to feel orgasm in the part of the vagina.
For example, if you feel orgasm with self-pleasure but do not feel orgasm with sex, it is not compatibility with the other party, but you can be outside, but you can not do inside, you are worried about the difference in location There is it.”
It seems that many people blame themselves, lose their confidence, or hide it so as not to hurt the other person, even if they cannot get orgasm, but after solving it more objectively, the solution is Olivi A says the attitude to find is important.
OliviA says that in order to have a pleasant sex, it is important not to be passive but to prepare and prepare yourself.
I always advise that “Ishin-shin” is difficult in sex scenes. Especially since men and women have different body structures, it is enough to expect them to understand and feel good. That’s why it is important to communicate so that you can convey your hopes properly and guide other people well.If you do not know your own body and the point of comfort, what do you do? You don’t even know what to say. Faced with yourself and communicate well with the other person is the key to a successful love life.”